One of the funniest comics I've seen as hot sauce is one of the topics that are close to my heart...

 

So I watched “The Help” yesterday… Wasn’t too bad actually… Thought it was going to be a chick flick (it was still entirely performed by women) but it was more of a racial-equality era movie…  Although the movie was quite funny, it still didn’t deter away from the reality that it was only 40 years ago that the US was still severely divided between whites and blacks… The segregation of everything (and I mean everything – from use of toilets, wage equality, political and social reform) in a country that was at that time (and still now) the super-economic powerhouse of the world... All because of something as stupid as race… How is that even fucken possible?  That we live in a day and age when it was only 40 years ago that this shit happened?  Here we are touting the ideals of western ways of living to the middle east and Asia, while blacks in the southern US states were being degraded to a different class of society…  Who the hell was the US to judge?  It’s quite sad really… And it’s a constant reminder for me every time I visit Mississippi – I sometimes feel like not much has changed…

 

As the summer approaches and the women dress more scantily on Bay Street, you know what I really hate?  Floral dresses.  Why on earth do girls where these?  It doesn’t matter who you are (Victoria Secret model or average girl), the dress is impossible to pull off (maybe unless you are Rachel McAdams and trying to star in the Notebook sequel).  If you are thin, the dress just looks too much to be on your frame.  And if you’re not so thin, the dress achieves the least desirable effect of making you look even larger.  It boggles my mind.

 

 

 

 

 

This must be the stupidest article I've read in a while... Look at the career alternatives.... RIGHT... Because instead of being a lawyer, I'll become a paralegal... Instead of becoming a doctor, I'll be a nurse... And the best is instead of becoming a CEO, I'll become a sales rep...  One minor detail missing from all of this... The pay difference!  This author should be shot.

 

Can you imagine what it must feel like to believe in something so much that you would be willing to inflict pain on yourself in order to make a point?  The below photos depict a Tibetan monk who lit himself on fire and is now in a coma - all in the protest of the Chinese government.  I would like to think that there would be something so important to my values that I would be willing to do something like this.

 

How is this Chinese bowl worth $27 million?

 

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/rare-chinese-porcelain-bowl-sells-nearly-27-million-164135958.html

 

Oh great, now even the extremists are training ninjas.... I'm telling you, ninjas will be the key to world domination...

 

 

 

An ATM receipt found in the Hamptons... This fucker has over $99 million in his fucken account?!!  First of all, who the fuck is this guy and more importantly, why is it sitting in a non-interest bearing account?

 

Viv and I saw a person drive this to work this morning... So awesome... I want to buy one...

 

 

http://news.yahoo.com/goldman-sachs-exec-publishes-scathing-resignation-letter-york-075726281.html

 

One of the places that I need to go to before I die...  Heaven's Gate Mountain in China....  A giant cliff fell off the face of the mountain hundreds of years ago and carved a hole...

 

 

 

 

You know what is one of my biggest pet peeves?  People who eat cereal at work....  Bringing in a donut and coffee and eating it in your office or desk is more than acceptable (although you shouldn't be doing it EVERY day), but there are some people at work that CONSISTENTLY eat cereal at their desk every day.  What the fuck is up with that?  If I were the CEO, I would see this as a sign of laziness (in that they couldn't wake up 10 minutes before hand to eat) and what I would do is walk around to each of their desks one morning and make them eat an entire box of cereal and fire them if they can't do it....  It's sort of like what Kevin Spacey did as the killer in the movie "Seven" to that fat guy...

 

This is pretty funny...  But so true...

 

 

 

 

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So, now I arrived in Da Nang, the town where I was born in... Man, it is soooooo different here...  This is a village.. There is a lot of difference between here and anywhere else in the world...  It almost makes me wonder if I really should have gone back here... I was so used to the comfortable living that I had and now coming back here, I wonder what my life really would have been like had my mother not taken me and fled the country... I look at some of the kids here and see that they have no opportunity and I feel terrible... It's actually quite emotional because it makes me think about the what-ifs..

 

 

The food is amazing though...  Vietnamese food here does taste better than Vietnamese food back at home...  Plus, it's soooooo cheap... My buying power here is amazing...  5 bowls of pho, 3 iced coffees, and a soy milk was only $9 USD.... WHAT?!!!!  Hhahhahaha... Oh man... This is awesome...

I am sitting here at Chicago O'hare airport waiting for my flight to HK. And this 40-something year-old woman is on her cell phone and talking about her dog for what seems like 25 minutes. Saying stupid things like "oh, she is 90 percent nice and 10 percent evil; how many times she needs to be walked; how to stir her food; how to pet her, etc". Don't get me wrong - we have a dog and I love him to death. But I am just sitting here rolling my eyes and can't help but think "40 year-old single lesbian woman with a my-dog-will-be-my-maid-of-honor t-shit".

 

Wow, I haven't updated this thing in a while...  So many things have happened... Too much stress at work... I'm losing all of my hair...  I think I need to start looking at life in a different way...  I need to sit down, sip some green tea, and figure out a more soothing way to live...

 

PRIORITY LANES.... The last 30 hours have been all about priority lanes...  I understand that as a business class traveller, I get to get onto the plane first and leave the plane first...  But a priority lane for customs?  Wow, that's a first I've ever seen... A poor Indian man waiting in a line that I could only guess was at least 20 minutes asked me how to get into my line... I could only tell him that it was for business and first class travellers...  I didn't have the heart to tell him that I think it's weird that because I paid 4 times as much for my ticket as he did, what gives me the right to have special privileges over him?  Makes me think that our world is all about seperating people based on social or economical classes...

 

How is it September already?  Too many things this year.  Time flying by.  All work and no play make John a dull boy.  Hhahaha.. No, just kidding.  This has been an interesting year..  Even more interesting is all that is coming up ahead...  VERY interesting...

 

If you've ever watched the movie "Duplicity" with Clive Owen and Julia Roberts, you may have noticed the office space of one of the evil CEOs... Very minimalistic (i.e. no computer, no wires, no paper)...  All he has is a giant bonsai tree on a giant marble desk (dude, I don't even know where you can get a table like that but can only assume it costs over $20K)...  This is what my dream office is going to look like, and no joke, I swear, if I ever get up to that level, I am completely setting up my office like this...

 

Man, I've been craving shrimp heads from Guu for the past couple of weeks...  Mmmmmmm fried shrimp heads... Sooooooooo good... Definitely a last-meal candidate for me...

 

Wow, I haven't updated this thing in a while... So, what's been going on?  Not much...  Just crazy busy these past couple of weeks with work...

 

On a completely unrelated note, I've concluded that when I actually purchase a detached home, it has to have a nice facade to it...  I know that Toronto is filled with all of these older homes built pre-1970 and that most people buy them for the land value and just gut the inside, but I refuse to be one of the people who lives in a nice-on-the-inside-butt-ugly-on-the-outside place...  Hhahahaha call me superficial, but that's what I've decided...  Now, I'm not asking for 15 High Point Road (see below), but something similar wouldn't be too shabby...

 

Canada's economy is the envy of the world... This is what I've been saying for the last 5 years... Our banking system is the strongest in the world..

 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100620/ap_on_bi_ge/cn_canada_the_ottawa_way

 

 

http://g.sports.yahoo.com/soccer/world-cup/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Two-Dutch-mini-dress-models-arrested-after-defyi?urn=sow,248867

 

The song currently on repeat on my iPod...

 

The best life motto I heard all week (from a guy at work):

 

"If I can't say something nice or constructive then I won't say anything. So I only comment on nice, hot, sexy, beautiful, smoking babes."

 

Hhahahhahahha.... That's now my new mantra...

 

 

 

You should have seen the look on these women's faces.  I almost felt bad that they couldn't come back with a response.  So I walked away, thinking in my mind that they should be going back upstairs to their shitty jobs moving around boxes or whatever the fuck they do.  Don't women like this realize that they should be saving this energy and going to the gym or improving themselves in some way?  Instead, they ridicule better-looking women for living the life that they could have had, but instead, chose a life of laziness.  I'll never understand these people...

 

We found out yesterday that our neighbour in Michigan passed away after a long struggle with cancer...  Man, I just saw her last Sunday and 4 days later, we find out that she passed away...  When I saw her, she looked so fragile and much older than her age (she's 65 and probably looked more like 85)...  It's crazy what cancer does to people.. Just slowly eats away at them...  Fucking cancer...  What kind of god is there who lets people suffer like this? 

 

At least according to Poke, a London-based creative company that specializes in interactive media. Their Web site, The Global Rich List generates a wealth ranking for its users based on their annual income.

For example, if you make $52,000 a year (the median American household income for 2009), you are the 58,252,719 richest person in the world (or in the top 0.97 percentile of all moneymakers).

Someone who makes half of that ($26,000 a year) is still in the top 10%, ranked 569,942,529 on the Global Rich List.

These calculations are based on figures from the World Bank Development Research Group. To calculate an individual's position on the list, Poke assumes that the world's total population is 6 billion and the average worldwide annual income is $5,000.

I went to their website, typed in my salary, and it says that I'm the 21,778,978 richest person in the world... Well, that's comforting.  It also put the following into perspective:

$8 could buy you 15 organic apples OR 25 fruit trees for farmers in Honduras to grow and sell fruit at their local market.

$30 could buy you an ER DVD Boxset OR a First Aid kit for a village in Haiti.

$73 could buy you a new mobile phone OR a new mobile health clinic to care for AIDS orphans in Uganda.

$2400 could buy you a second generation High Definition TV OR schooling for an entire generation of school children in an Angolan village.

 

Ah, so this is why people get married.

 

And this is why I hate eating out... Man, everything is a scam..

 

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/eatthis/49512/unhealthiest-coffee-drinks-in-america/

 

It should be an automatic thing that women who go to the gym should only wear either of the two types of pants for working out...

 

 

http://vimeo.com/10237333

 

Clarification below that I must remediate...  As correctly pointed out by my soon-to-be doctor girlfriend (11 more months, woo-hoo!!), the liver is not responsible for dialysis.... Rather, it is the kidneys...  And yes, I did realize that, but give me a break...  It was 1am, I was walking home from Bay and Wellington, and I was still able to log into my Tripod account from the tiny-ass screen of my new Blackberry and type up that message...  Damn it, in any other country, I would have been elected President...

Fuck, this must be the first time in my life where I drank so much that my liver is going through major dialysis just to clean up the blood pumping through my body. Good thing I work out out everyday and it's not taking too much of a toll on my body. 14 beers, 18 chicken wings, 4 pogo sticks, and 3 giant pretzels in 14hours can wreck your body in no time....

So there is a group of 3 individuals in my company whose so purpose is to help manage special projects. They actually don't have industry experience or contribute anything to our actual discussions or solutions (ie if we need to find a system solution to a problem with how the numbers are rolling up, they don't know anything about the system). We had a series of events (conferences, meetings, workshops, and social events) and at each of these events, we as the experts speak to our individual areas of knowledge, and then you have these "project managers" who literally are glorified note takers, admin assistants, and hostess. Seriously, here are the contributions they have made in the last 2 days:

"Ladies and gentlemen, lunch will be served at noon."

"Only one speaker at a time everyone."

"Please turn off your Blackberries."

Most useless job ever. One of them asked me the other day what type of gold we produced. I wanted to throw my chair at her.

Funny conversation I had with a bunch of guys at work. Call me a pigheaded male or whatever you want, but is it really wrong that I think business women who wear backpacks to work are really butch? Who cares if it is better for your back and you can carry more things (which I can only assume are your lumberjack equipment, Oprah magazine, and testerone hormone pills)? Please wear an over-the-shoulder bag or if you want to really resemble anything like a woman, in a leather sachette. Jesus, even women in IT (if there are even any) shouldn't wear a backpack to work.

 

Tonight, I watched a documentary on TLC about the weirdest beauty pageant in Arkansas that I've ever seen... It's called the "Miss Turkey Trot" pageant and is just fucken weird...  The prize for the winner? $300.  And all they need to do is wear a cardboard cutout of a turkey while wearing a bathing suit...  Oh small hick towns in the United States... Gotta love them...  Take a look at this clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7aFkpX-0ZI&feature=player_embedded

 

I saw a woman at the gym today do two consecutive chin-ups... What?!!!  That's awesome... And kind of hot... Good for her...

 

Emmy sent me something really cute... Whenever I am troubled or worried about something, I just need to remember that:

 

Have you noticed the huge influx of people with Canada Goose jackets?  Don't get me wrong, I think they are great coats and remarkably, look great on women, considering that it's kind of a manly jacket (I saw a chick the other day sporting one of these in the right way... tight-ass jeans, knee-high boots, and a pair of Ray-Bans)...  What eggs me though?  Broke-ass people or high school students who complain that they have no money but can some how afford a $600 jacket... Got to love it...

 

I've noticed a common topic lately...  And that is money and their role in relationships...  I've been on the hearing end of many conversations lately from people telling me about their money problems with their significant other...  Married couples not knowing where the money is going and how the other one is spending it... Fights about the other not making enough money or spending money they don't have... The financial mess that a divorce causes...  All I hear is the resentment and the lost in trust that is the result of all these problems... Man, that must be such a tough situation to be in...  I can completely see now why money is the biggest reason why married couples fight...  It's also why I'm so glad that I don't think I'll ever have that problem with my girlfriend... She's probably the only person aside from my mum that I would ever trust with money...  Furthermore, she's probably the only girlfriend I've had that I can honestly say this about...  I can also take comfort in the fact that we'll make good money together as a couple and hopefully, money won't be an issue... She can easily go on mat leave and I think we'd be okay with my salary alone...  We can provide for our parents comfortably once they retire...  A nice home, good food, nice vacations, buying whatever we want... All of these things are what I can take comfort in...  If there is one thing I hope we never fight about, money would be at the top of that...

 

Oh man, I got my ass handed to me these past two weeks...  70 hours a week for two straight weeks...  And those 140 hours were HARD hours...  My hair is effectively 100% grey...  I'm not at the firm anymore, so I'm not used to these hours...  Sometimes, I think about whether or not I'm forgoing my "youth" and working too hard (although with the way that my mind is working these days, you would question how much youth I have left)...  You know those people who took months off after college and went travelling?  Yeah....  Now, I want to be one of those people...  See, from a career perspective, things have worked out pretty well with my current approach of all-work-and-use-vacation-days-for-only-visiting-family-and-carryforward-2-weeks-vacation-each-year...  And it's that very fear that prevents me from taking 4 weeks off to just chill... Now, I shouldn't complain because I just came back from 2.5 weeks off for Christmas, so maybe this is just me being tired of work (already only after 18 days coming back to work)... 

 

There is a new show on MTV called "Teen Cribs", which basically is the exact same thing as the regular cribs except none of the teens are famous but whose parents' are uber-wealthy enough (but not publicly famous) to live in extravagant homes... One of the episodes was a house in Toronto which was insane...  After some research, I found out that it's a home on Bridle Path, which belongs to an Indian business man who is President and CEO of a Toronto-based tech company...  The house is currently listed as the most expensive house on MLS and is considered one of the most technologically-advanced homes in Canada... Nuts...  http://luxuryhometoronto.com/

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's that time of the year again where, as I drive my mom to work (yup, she works until 5pm on New Year's Eve), I think back on the year that just went by and assess how things went, what I did well, more importantly on things that I didn't do well, what to improve on for next year, and just random things that occurred during the year that just happen to be so signficant as to have a placeholder in my mind... So without further elaboration, below is my assessment of all aspects of my 2009 year in no particular order other than what is currently shooting out of my head...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Overall, it was a good year... But being the person that I am, things can always be better... Time now to think about my resolutions for 2010...

 

 

The Year in Pictures:

 

This is some crazy news... http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091230/ap_on_bi_ge/us_tavern_on_the_green

 

The Victoria's Secret fashion show...  One of the greatest free gifts a guy can get each year...  Hhahahhaha...  Is it wrong that we guys think all women look like this?

 

Check out the story of a hedge fund manager who made $2.5 billion this year alone!!!!

 

In this comeback year for investors, David Tepper may have scored one of the biggest paydays of all.

Mr. Tepper's hedge-fund firm has racked up about $7 billion of profit so far this year—with Mr. Tepper on track to earn more than $2.5 billion for himself, according to people familiar with the matter. That is among the largest one-year takes in recent years.

 

So now, what bothers me isn't that I didn't make it to the board and won't be able to help set policy. It's that it's the first time in my life I think I lost at a personal endeavour. I have always gotten a job offer for any job that I have ever applied for, and so, I take this as a pretty big blow to my record.

 

So I was watching "The Biggest Loser" for the first time the other day, and man oh man, it was amazing to see some of these people lose up to 140lbs in 11 weeks!  And most of the weight losses were 5 - 9lbs a week - that's crazy!  And it's even more amazing to see the before and now pictures - some of the people are unrecognizable....  I have to give these people congrats on such a fantastic job...  And yes, the $250,000 prize at the end for losing the most weight is a great incentive, but still, that's great discipline.... Now, whenever someone tells me that they can't lose 5lbs in a month, I'm gonna roll my eyes...  It's all about discipline.. If a woman who weighs 230lbs can lose 6lbs a week for 11 weeks in a row, then you can lose 5lbs total in 4 weeks....

 

So the new Twilight movie comes out this weekend and without even have read the book, I can honestly say that it looks stupid as heck...  Teenagers turning into wearwolves, and that stupid-looking Robert whatever his name is and that girl who falls in love with him make them the perfect albino combination for ridicule amongst anyone who is over the age of 14....  So, I was talking to a girl at my work who read these bloody books and did my own research/poll in terms of why these books are so popular and why they really appeal to the desperate, single, lesbians (hahahahah):

 

 

 

For the 19th year in a row, Waterloo topped Maclean's annual list of most reputable schools...  Although I went there and have to admit, it was the toughest experience I've went through in my short life so far, I am still having a difficult time reconciling that it has the top reputation amongst corporate recruiters, executives, i.e (whomever else Maclean's bases the survey on)...  That being said, I truly do believe that it does matter what school you went to..  I would much rather have my kid get a "C" grade at an Ivey League school than an "A" grade at a mediocre school..  Yes, not all students from top schools end up succeeded and yes, there are some students at lower schools that end up succeeding (yes, there are ALWAYS exceptions), but in general, going to a top school matters... I don't care what anyone says... It matters... It matters at the top law firms, at big consulting firms, at large public companies, etc.  Unless you plan on working in government or at a not-for-profit, trust me, it matters...

 

Okay, so I haven't updated this thing in a long time... That's probably because I've been so busy with getting my ass handed to me these past 4 weeks with Q3 results.  Fuck, I hated my life during those days.  Working all of Thanksgiving weekend (40 hrs in a weekend and no play make John a very grumpy boy)...  To say that I am glad it is over is an overstatement...  Now, I face the dilemma of having almost 3 weeks of unused vacation days left that I need to use up before the end of this year... 

 

This message from my little cousin made me smile today:

 

Hi Anh John, Guess what? I'm getting braces!!!!!!! I will probably get them next month, i am getting my spacers thursday. I am so excited to get them over with:P  I can't wait until I see you again! I miss youuuuu! emilyyyy nguyuennn

So the Scotiabank marathon was this weekend and it was meant to be that I ran into a woman at my gym today who lost nearly 90lbs in 14 months all because of training for the half marathon. This combined with a friend of mine telling me that she knew of someone who lost 120lbs in 16 months (she went from 250lbs to 130lbs) by training for the exact same race really got me thinking about what a person is capable of if they just have discipline... I work out about 5-6 times a week and really, I do it because of my own anal ways that would drive me mad if I didn't work out. But really, there is no motivation for me to do it. I think I am in fairly good health and am not going to gain much weight even if I don't work out, but yet I still work out often. That is probably what boggles my mind - people who have every reason to work out and or/eat well but choose not to.

 

Quality of life... I can finally say that for once in my life, I have a good balance...  Work... Not too many hours - well, relative to EY...  Stress?  Well, let's just say that I haven't had to use that blood-pressure monitor for a while now...  Physical shape?  I've been going to the gym during my lunch time at least 4 times a week (what job can you do that at right?)...  Compensation?  I can honestly admit that I think Barrick pays me more than my worth... Hhahahha... Let's not share that with anyone now shall we?  Hhahahha...  I do what I want because my time is valuable... And by that, I mean time is money.. If you don't treat it like that, you'll just never get it... Some people do and some don't...  I like those that do...

 

 

Anniversary gifts... To me, a simple topic that I can't comprehend on how people get it wrong. I have seen some amazing examples of late that still give me hope that people have not entirely failed the act of gift-giving on that special day. Case in point, a colleague of mine recently had his wife give him 5 custom-made shirts with his initials monogrammed into the cuffs. Now that's classy. That's a keeper-wife. Here are tips for that special day for your man:

1. Make it personal. A guy is easy to shop for because he can use anything. Golf lessons. A shaving set. Sports tickets. You can get him practically anything, but the key thing is that it has to be personal - something he is interested in. It shows that you care about his interests.

2. Sharing in on a group gift. I can't think of a better way for a girl to completely isolate herself from her man by joining in on a group gift to remind him that you are no more special than his friends. I think I actually broke up with a girl once in college for doing that.

3. Get him something. Coming up empty on that big day says nothing more than the fact that you didn't even bother to put effort into thinking about getting him something. You may not know what to get him or he may just already have everything, but get him something. Shit, make it even. But don't show up empty-handed. Cause if you, you may end up going home empty-handed (without his hand).

 

So I haven't updated this thing in a while... Hmmm... Been pretty busy I suppose...  What has happened.. Let me think... Got to spend an entire weekend with my little cousins and man, I can honestly say that having kids is probably the most tiring thing a person can handle... And these are good kids, not rotten ones where I can't even imagine how much MORE work it would be to take care of them...  The thing that I love about Emmy and Christian has to be their eating habits... I've never seen kids who eat so healthy...  They don't eat fast food junk, drink any soda, or really eat any candy...  In fact, they love fish sauce, guava fruit (shit, I don't even eat that), and vegetables!  See, that's exactly what I'm going to teach my kids... Not like these kids nowadays with their 3 cans of soda a day (100 grams of sugar right there), French fries with everything, and not a single vegetable unless it's potatoes... God, it makes me want to throw up when I see what parents feed their kids today...  It's just negligence.  These parents should be arrested for abuse...  For bringing on a lifetime of diabetes and obesity...  It's one thing to love your kids and want to appease them, but it's another thing for being a coward and setting a bad example at a young age...

 

 

So I went to the gym yesterday after a long stretch of not going (due to business travels and crazy work hours recently) and ran into a woman that I haven't seen in almost two months and realized that she lost something around 45 pounds in that time span and looks completely different than what I remembered!  She's in her mid-40s probably so that's a great achievement in itself that she was able to accomplish this at that age.  We started chatting by the water cooler (sounds so cliche eh?) because I just had to comment on her remarkable transformation (I know, I know, I should just mind my own business).  Good for her I said.  She was explaining to me how she completely restricted her diet during this time and worked out everyday.  Can you believe the results?  She serves as motivation to the rest of us young ones - I hit the weights hardcore that day.

 

Wow, I haven't updated this thing in a while... I seem to go on these spurts of updating consistently and then being AWOL for a couple of weeks... So, what has been going on? Lots. Went to Africa for 2 weeks, which was probably the most exhausting business trip I've ever had to endure.. The time zone change, the waking up super-early in the mornings, the over-a-dozen flights I had to take, the over-gorging on food, the little exercise, and the nature of the business itself took a toll on me... The plus side? I got to go away for a whole week to the Dominican right after for good R&R to recover. Now, having come back to work during the quarter-end, I got my brains beat out trying to do my old job and my new one (yup, I got a promotion - senior manager that baby!!!). It's been a brutal two weeks (I worked the first weekend ever at Barrick since I started, which I should be grateful for that it was the first one only), but hopefully, it will get better.

Don't worry, a new posting will be up tomorrow. And maybe the day after. And the day atfer. Hhahahah.

 

Man, it's like night and day.  I'm referring to the service quality in Joburg and Dar.  Joburg service at hotels and restaurants (small or large) is probably the best I've ever experienced.  I mean talk about people who know every detail about the service or good that you are getting.  I have never felt more respected, even if for the money that I bring to their livelihood.  But here in Dar, service is worse than I've seen in Quebec (which has a notorious reputation for service).  A meal takes forever to get through and the people don't know what the dishes on their own menu entails.  English is suppose to not be a barrier here given that it's spoken by 90% of the population, but that's not very evident based on my experience.  All in all, service is key to any experience and I can completely understand customers who will choose one vendor over another purely on the service provided.

I went to the Apartheid Museum today and it was really disturbing... The sadness, raw emotion, and anger that I felt cannot be written down.. It was just something that I felt that I can't describe. To see the inhumanities and atrocities caused to a group of people for such an uneducated and unreal reason makes you really wonder how one human being can do this to another... It is almost embarassing to the humankind that the resolve and determination that we have is the direct result of going through such struggles brought on by other members of the same kind..

 

Man, I haven't updated this thing in a while.... Probably because not much has been going on or maybe that it has gone by so fast that I haven't noticed.. Going to Africa in a couple of days... Man, I am dreading that.. Not the trip itself but the work involved.. Fucken EY consultants are annoying the fuck out of me.. I am trying to think of ways to avoid murdering them on this trip...

On a side note, my girlfriend has moved into a new apartment which we are excited about... Except for the mother fucking Mexicans who live above and blast their music at 4am in the morning.. I have never seen anything like it... These cracked up fuckers... If it wasn't for my girlfriend's diplomatic ways, I would grab a fucken golf club and go up there and start smashing the door down.... Seriously, I am all about fixing problems yourself... Seriously, it's this kind of shit that make me end up losing my CA license... Hahahaha.... But instead, the landlord is trying to get them evicted.. Either way, as long as those mother fuckers are out and my girlfriend can study in peace, that's all I care about...

On a further side note, I was glancing over some of the shit that my girlfriend has to study for school and man oh man, I can barely understand how complicated it is.. I like to think of myself as a fairly intelligent guy (being master's degree from Waterloo and all) but I can't even pronounce half of the words in her books... It made me realize how bullshit business is.. You just learn some basic shit and even the stuff that we think is complicated (i.e. derivatives and other financial instruments) is nothing compared to some of her stuff... Business is something that you just need to learn a little and then use your negotiation, people skills, charm, etc. to get somewhere in this world. But medicine? Man, that's some complicated shit. Plus, you can't just make up the shit (like you can in business) because people's lives are at risk...

 

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/17/AR2009051702053.html?g=0

 

Alright, so I haven't updated this thing in a while... Maybe because I've been so astounded by the fact that these last 5 months have gone by in a heartbeat... Can you believe it's almost June already?  Weather isn't changing fast enough for me.  My condo is freezing at night time right now without the heat on...  I've got a bunch of trips lined up (both business and personal) that I am really looking forward to...  I want to just lay on a beach somewhere and just drink beer and read magazines until it's time to eat... That's all I want to do...

 

 

 

 

Below are sample pics from the website... Now these are ACTUAL pics from people sent it to demonstrate the level of douchebagness that is out there...

 

Today, I found out that a guy on my track team at Waterloo was the top Canadian finisher at the Boston Marathon yesterday,  He finished 21st overall in the massive race in a time of 2:22.  That's sick...  I had no idea that he is now one of Canada's top marathoners and will probably be on the Olympic team in a couple of years... Man, crazy... Makes me want to run outside in the rain...

 

Look at what my little cousins wrote me..  I still can't believe little kids nowadays have e-mail!!!  Sooooo cute...

 

 

I used to date this girl that thought I was absolutely insane for going to the gym everyday.  I even remember having long spats with her about it.  About how she doesn't know of anyone who goes to the gym everyday and how I would reference all the same people I see at the gym everyday and that obviously, there are people like that that exist.  I know it's something very stupid to fight about, but when I think about it now, it's actually an important thing - that is, that you both have the same ideals about fitness and health.  Otherwise, both of you will just resent each other (one for being a slob and the other for being a nazi-fitness-drill-sargeant)...

 

• Glucosamine pills - Cartilage in a bottle.  Great for an ex-athlete like me with arthritic knees.
• Ferrari's - I can't stop staring at these.  It's like watching a beautiful woman walking down the street.
• HD TV - Being able to see a TV anchor's pores is just as enjoyable as watching animals in the Serengeti.
• GPS - Having something tell me exactly where I am and exactly where to go is almost sadistic in nature, but so long as it doesn't tell me to drive into a lake, I guess I'm all for it.
• Lululemon pants - Every girl should have one of these.  And should wear it all the time. Period.
• High heels - Same comment as the pants above.

 

You know what?  I've slowly come to realize that I haven't stepped back and smelled the roses in so long...  Just to take time and relax and enjoy the amazing, but simple things that embed our life...  I can't even remember the last time I took a walk around the waterfront (where I live), or just went to go swimming at my gym, or slowly enjoy a nice glass of wine (instead of gulping it down), or water my plants (poor things have stuck by me through all sorts of neglect)...

 

I thought about something the other day while on the subway (yes, it's the 2nd time in 2 years that I've had to take the subway - I know, I'm spoiled)....  So here's the story... Earlier in the day, somebody very non-financially equipped asked me to explain to them what efficient capital markets meant...  I guess it's something that I've learned all my whole life so I don't even have to think twice about the concept... But I understand why it can be a little confusing to a non-finance/economics person...  As much as I tried to explain the premise and the assumptions involved and why capital markets are efficient, it wasn't until I ran into a real-life example later that day that I could have used to help explain it... What happened was that I went to get my snow tires off my SUV and have it changed back to my summer tires...  Now the mechanic wanted to charge me $40/tire, which I thought was ridiculous, so I negotiated it down to $20/tire... Now, on my back to work on the subway, I was thinking about how this is the perfect example of efficient capital markets...  Basically, the idea is that the seller (i.e. the mechanic) wanted to sell me his services for $X... I didn't like the price so I negotiated it lower, and the reason that I did that is because if the mechanic didn't lower his prices, he knew I would go to a competitor mechanic and would lose my business...  However, if I had negotiated too low of a price, the mechanic would have turned it down because he would have thought that it was too low and he wouldn't even barely cover his costs...  This back and forth continues to occur (with people either staying in the deal or going to a competitor) until such a time that an equilibrium is reached where everyone (both the buyer and the seller) can agree that the "reasonable" price to change a tire is say $20.  And now both sides are happy because me as the buyer, I get something that I need at a price that I think is reasonable, and the seller gets money in an amount that covers his cost plus a reasonable profit margin....  Basically, the idea is that everyone is happy and the market for changing tires is efficiently run...  That is, more mechanics will try to reduce their costs (in an attempt to compete with other mechanics) so that they can reduce their prices and attract more customers (but remember, not to the point that they can't cover their costs)... You repeat this process over and over, and you ultimately get a perfect capital market whereby competition for a limited pool of money from buyers creates the best product and the best service at the best (i.e. fair) price....  Now, my friend asked "Well, why don't all the mechanic shops get together and just fix the price to $40 and that way, everyone will have to pay the same?"... See, in this case, we have an oligopolistic state (i.e. services/pricing is controlled by a few)...  This is one of the assumptions that you can't have in a capital efficient market...  There cannot be such collusion...  This is the reason why certain industries such as banks, utilities, and agriculture are regulated by the government...  To ensure that such groups do not exist and take advantage of certain consumer necessities...  Imagine what it would be like if Hydro One forced you to pay $100/kilowatt?  You would have no say in it because they are the only electricity provider and you need electricity...  Therefore, the government steps in to prevent price-gouging and ensure that anarchy doesn't occur... It's as simple as that...

 

 

http://www.hollywoodlife.net/Article.aspx?articlepath=RSS\Gossip\20090316\The-Bachelor-Hot-Suave-Works-at-the-mall.xml&cat=Gossip&pcur=1&ipp=10&pageid=1#The_Bachelor!_Hot!_Suave!_Works_at_the_mall.

 

So this guy came into our office today trying to sell us this expensive financial reporting system (millions of dollars)...  But this idiot comes in dressed in a normal suit but fucks it all up by sporting a faux-hawk...  I was thinking in my mind, "Poor guy, he doesn't stand a chance"...  After he finishes his presentation, all my bosses (who are old-school guys that you see in American Psycho or Boiler Room who wear nothing buy power shirts, power tie, power suits) rolled their eyes and cracked...  Who the hell in their right mind sent this guy to try to make a sales presentation worth millions of dollars?  This is why the economy is going to shit... You have dumbass people sending these people not dressed to impress in corporate America...  Don't get me wrong...  I could care less what people's hair looks like - but that's in your personal time.. In the business world, there is an expectation of clean-cutness...  Leave your Electric-Circus hairdo at home for your thug girlfriend while you guys why America's Next Dance Crew... Don't bring it to Bay Street boardroom where the rest of us are wondering which Spice Girl you are trying to be...

 

So I went home to see my parents this past weekend and I started thinking about how much it bothers me that my mum is still working. It really bothers me. She's getting older and she's worked her entire life at really hard jobs and I should be in a place in my life where she no longer has to work. I hate that she has to work 6 days a week and it breaks my heart that she works harder than I am and gets paid a third of what I get paid. So on the long drive back to Toronto, I've made the decision to try to find another job within the next 1-2 years that will pay me enough so that she can officially retire and I would just give her a monthly living allowance. I just need to find a job that will pay me only $50K more a year. Gosh, if this was any other job market, I think I could go out there and ask for a 30% raise. This is gonna be tough, but this is going to be one of my top goals.

 

So I had a pretty interesting discussion with someone who is getting their doctorate in public policy, specifically on private vs. public education. I learned quite a bit about it and I can honestly say, it was the first time someone has been able to change my mind (albeit, she didn't even try to). We were talking about which is better: public or private school. More specifically, was private school worth the absorbtantly high tuition costs and whether it made a difference in junior school, high school, or college. She and I both went to public school through our educational career, but she has done a significant amount of studies and research on this issue so it was great to hear some of the findings. I was always of the opinion that I would always send my kids to public school because I couldn't justify paying that much for something that can be free and mostly because I went to public school and think that I turned out just as well as anyone who went to private schools. But what I found out did shed some light on my thinking. Here are some of the findings:

- the quality of the teachers is virtually the same across
- the quality of the class environment and access to materials (i.e. computers, books) is better at private schools - duh
- drug use, violence, and dropout rates are only slightly higher at public schools

However, she tells me that the key difference between public and private is the average lifetime earnings that a student makes. I couldn't remember the numbers but it was something along the lines of assuming a 40-year work career, the private school kid made approx. $140K/year vs. the public school kid of $65K/year. WHAT?!!!! So I asked her why that was and she said that it was apparently due primarily to the fact that private school kids tend to be surrounded by other kids whose parents are financially well off (read successful) and will push their kids to be certain professions such as lawyers, doctors, bankers, etc. Because of this push, these kids tend to be more pressured into pursuing these types of careers and there have higher incomes than the average person. A private school kid is also more likely to be connected via their family or their classmates. All of this makes sense right? I never thought about it this way.  But it is so true. I look at my high school class and the "smartest" guy in my year (I would always come in 2nd place to this guy in the mathematics competition since grade 9) ended up going to Waterloo with me, we went to grad school together, and he went to Deloitte (another big accounting firm). Now I'm not saying that no one from my high school is doing anything big with their lives. I am just saying that had I gone to a private school, I may have had more peer pressure to succeed instead of trying to find it elsewhere.  Whereas all the guys I work with now graduated from private schools and all know each other and just push to climb to the corporate ladder. I love the competition. You talk shit about each other's bonuses and it keeps you on your toes to try to get that corner office. I need to have my kids have that inherent in them.  And so it finally dawned on me that if the difference of me sending my kid to private school instead of public school is almost $80K/year in future earnings, that right their justifies it. Look out Upper Canada College, here comes my 4 boys (one each of a doctor, lawyer, investment banker, and software engineer). Hahahah had to add that last one in their just in case I need to get my computer fixed.

Gosh I feel like an old man lately... My barber commented on my grey hair the other day by asking "Joe, you got the stress?"... Side note, yes, my barber has called me Joe for the last 3 years as I have never bothered to correct him... Then, I threw up twice this weekend on some weird upset stomach thing that I still don't know what the heck is going on with that... Hmmmm maybe I'm pregnant... And my muscles easily get sore and cramped now (could be do the crazy amount of working out that I have been doing)... All in all, I feel like an old man... So if anyone has a youth pill that they can offer me, I would like two extra-strength non-drowsy doses please!!!!

 

As everyone knows, I've had to involve myself in the news in Africa as part of my work, but today was a historic day in my opinion... For the first time in history, the International Criminal Court is set to issue an arrest warrant for the leader of a country, accusing him of orchestrating a mass murder of nearly 300,000 Sudanese people. The warrant for the President of Sudan, Omar al-Bashir, will be hailed by many as a sign that nobody is above the law and even a sitting president has no immunity from prosecution for war crimes.  However, some people feel that this arrest warrant will hurt the people of Sudan, particularly the long-suffering victims of the Darfur region in that it could unleash a new wave of violence in Darfur, destroying a fragile peace process that has just begun to make some early progress. It really begs the issue of whether doing something that is morally correct (i.e. getting justice against someone who has committed such atrocities) is appropriate in the face of peace?  It's one of those tough tough questions that if you think about it, has a rippling effect on how problems are solved in the world..  Is it enough to do what is right even if the consequences of that action are more likely going to have additional unintended harmful effects?

 

Yesterday, I had to help make the decision to terminate one of the executive assistants in our group...  It all stemmed from a debacle when she refused to make changes to a document when I asked her to because she was "too busy"...  I tried as nice as possible to explain that this was something urgent for public filing purposes and that it was her job to, but all she said was that she was too busy...  Too busy with what?!!!  So I walked over to her desk and saw her sitting there reading her stupid "Twilight" book gorging on carbohydrates like they were her best friend and you have the right to tell me that you are "too busy"?!!!!  Oh man, I fucken lost it there...  What is it?  Is it because I'm a young guy and you resent that I'm your boss?  You fucken piece of shit...  At that moment, I got fed up and picked up the phone to call my director of my group and the director of HR, both of whom came into the office within an hour and we sent her ass packing...  That's right...  She even had the nerve to be shocked...  What?!  Stop crying and pack your bagels into a box and get out!  You think you can just coast here, especially in this job market?  If you want to be like that, go work in government or not-for-profits...  It's people like this that piss me off...  We're running a business here and don't have time for this shit...

 

Alright fellas, get ready for the heartache... It's official... Adriana Lima (of Victoria Secret fame) is off the market...  More importantly is the mind-boggling question of how her doofus-looking husband (terrible Memphis Grizzlies player) was able to land such a hottie... You should see what all the sports blogs are writing about this one (i.e. basically gives all of us regular joes hope of landing a supermodel one day)...

 

So we're finally finished with our year-end here at work...  This was supposed to be the most "busy" time here for our group, but to be honest, relative to EY, this was a walk in the park.  I never worked past 6:30pm and better was just I didn't feel the time crunch that I am so used to... It's really odd to have this feeling... I suppose it's the combination of my role (it's not so restricted to a time deadline as others in my group) and the fact that EY has completely conditioned me for any work environment given the brutal juggling and time management debacle that I had to go through there...  A month as a manager at EY was dozens of times worse than my time here so far at Barrick...  All this and I make 40% more than I did at EY...  How can I possibly ever think about going back there?!!!  Especially given how well our company is doing right now with the price of gold at record levels, I'm already looking forward to my bonus this year... Hhahahaha...

I have been disappointed in people lately. Not necessarily that they have disappointed me specifically, but that I have been disappointed by their actions in general. I am not judging (since I don't expect anyone to be perfect), but sometimes you bank on a person being a certain way or following through with something or delivering as promised (not necessarily to me but in general), and when they don't, you get disappointed. I am starting to realize that it's hard to put your trust in people - not to the point where I am completely isolated and would rather do things myself - just to the point where you just don't have any security in what people say anymore. How do I say this? Hmmmmm.... Let's just say that when someone says something, I will take their word in the lightest olive oil possible, and let their actions define them.

 

Some funny pics I ran into on the web this week...

 

1. If he doesn't call you, he's not interested. PERIOD.: The notion of a woman not even understanding this boggles my mind.  This is probably the most obvious thing to guys.  If we like you, we'll do everything imaginable to try to get you to be with us.  Therefore, conversely, if he's not making any effort to get in touch with you, take you out, etc. that just means he's not interested!!  This works both ways too - if a girl isn't interested, she's not going to reach out to you.  PERIOD.  But for some reason, people translate the following: not calling/not making a move = playing hard to get = really wants to be with you.  WHAT?!!!!  It's thinking like this that will ultimately lead to the extinction of the human species.
2. If you go behind someone's back, it'll catch up to you: I'm not just talking about karma here.  I'm just saying that you'll either get caught or you'll be so full of guilt that you'll just hate yourself, and that is probably worse than getting caught.  This is the reason why I'm always honest, because I can't deal with the guilt.  It's also probably the reason why I could only be with someone who was honest, because if I ever caught her lying, I would murder her.
3. The girl is always going to be better looking than the guy: Why am I bringing this up?  Because it's probably the most tangible measurement out of all my points.  See, this is where a double-standard kicks in.  For you ladies, you're going to have to live with the fact that the guy you'll most likely end up with will be uglier than you (so don't go thinking that you're gonna get the next Brad unless you look like the next Angelina).  For you guys, sky's the limit.  If you're really ugly, then likely you'll find someone way better looking than you.  If you're handsome, then you'll get stuck with the supermodel and we'll all blast the superbeautiful babies that both of you will have.

 

• Anytime that I have idle time (i.e. waiting in line, going up the elevator, waiting for my friends, waiting on the phone, etc.), I'll use that time to do work on my Blackberry because this will free up more space for me to either leave work early or just get things done faster.  This must not be confused with personal spare time - I don't do work during this time (well, at least I try not to).
• While cooking, I will clean at the same time to ensure that when we are done cooking, there will be no dirty dishes to clean.
• I know this sounds bad, but I don't spend any of my time keeping in contact with people whom I have no connection with.  You know how some people have like 700 people on their Facebook or MSN or whatever and will probably spend a good 5-10 mins a day (1 hr a week) responding to posts or messages from people who they no longer have any relationship with but are more like just a hi and bye.  Yes, I know this sounds pitiful of me and makes me the meanest bastard alive, but for some reason, I see it as a waste of time - I would just rather spend that time with the people I like and don't spend enough time with already. 
• I work out during lunch so that I don't have to do it at night and take the chance of missing a workout for the day - things tend to pop up at night that conflict.

 

So I got a message from one of my exes today wishing me a happy birthday... Now, call me insensitive or whatever, but does anybody else find that weird?  I mean, it's not like we hate each other, but we haven't spoke in god knows how long, and the last time we spoke was not on the best circumstances... So forgive me if I think it's a little inappropriate for her to come out of no where to wish me a happy birthday.  What compells a person to do that?  I know that I would never send a message to any of my exes to wish them a happy birthday especially if we weren't on the best of terms... I mean I guess I have to give her credit for trying, but it's a little odd to me... Why would a person put themselves through that kind of uncomfortableness? I mean, just for the sake of your own current relationship, what is your current boyfriend going to think when you send these messages to your ex with whom you aren't on good terms with?  That's like if I found out that my girlfriend sent a message like that to one of her exes with whom she's on bad terms with...  I would have to question why she would do that...  Therefore, I would have to feel for her current boyfriend and how he would feel about it if he were to ever find out...   It really confuses me as to what goes on in people's heads.. Maybe it's just me...  Or maybe not, since I've heard some hilarious responses from people at work today about why she might be doing this... 

 

For my birthday, my little cousins sent me the most adorable messages.  These kinds of things put the biggest smile on my face...

 

Hi Anh John,   How are you? Happy Birthday!!!! I hope you have a GREAT one. What are you doing for your birthday? Are you spending it with Vivian? I can't wait until we go to the baseball game! It is going to be soooooo much fun! Since were staying with you when we go, I'm going to be swimming and swimming all day. What else is there to do at your apartment? Guess what? I got straight A's on my report card!!  Well, I hope to see you soon, and again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! My mom and dad also say happy b-day. I love and miss you!   Love, Emily

 

• The sheer poshness - Amenities, amenities, amenities.  When the annual fee is about $5,000, what can you expect but nothing but amenities.  From the personalized permanent locker with my name on it, to the plush robes, to the free razors, to the hair gel, lotion, mouthwash, laundry service, I sometimes completely forget about the individual TVs for each treadmill and all the state of the art equipment.
• The service - People on Bay Street don't forgive crappy service and it shows at this gym.  The trainers walk around, offer advice and spotting, and always always alway say hi with a smile - sometimes I AM THE ONE who feels like a prick for forgetting to say hi back.  And it'll be the only place in Toronto where there isn't a personal trainer who is less fit than you are.
• That it's at the top of TD Tower - Something so serene about running next to a window looking out into the Toronto skyline.  Foggy days are the best.
• That the men's change room is like an old all-boys club - Nothing but brokers, consultants, bankers, industry tycoons.  You shoot the shit with everyone and oddly enough, make contacts with people in pretty much the same, but still somewhat different circles.

• Everyone there is old!!! - I suppose that I have to live with the fact that pretty much anyone who is going to shell out the ridiculous annual membership fee is generally going to be someone older or paid by their company (as is in my case - man, I'm not crazy enough to ever pay that kind of money for a gym - would just rather get lypo and save myself the trouble).
• The possibilty of seeing your boss naked - Not a good thing if you want to move up in the company.

 

It's amazing how much things can change in a single generation... I look at my parents and see where they were from and how they came to North America and how much they struggled to provide to now provide a decent living for themselves...  You hear them tell you stories of how hard it was to come from the old country, come here with no knowledge of the system or the language, and somehow, they managed to get to where they are now...  Then I look at my generation and how well we've done for ourselves (relative to my parents' generation) and how it's the result of a trickle-down effect from their hard work and sacrifices...  Sometimes, I'm amazed to see how we grew up poor when I was a kid, to me making good money now, to the future where life with my wife and kids is going to be a very very good one...  I think it has a lot to do with the drive and the push that you get inbred inside you from your parents to constantly strive for more...  You look at some families and they'll be forever in the same situation, and you ask yourself, what's the difference?  Aside from social-economic factors that may play a big part, I think it has a lot to do with ambition and the pressure that is passed down from one generation to the next to make progress....  It's these characteristics that lead to higher education, income, and let's face it, quality of life (more as a by-product of the first two outcomes)....

 

I learned a very very weird fact today...  In January 2009's National Geographic, it stated that in the history of mankind, it is estimated that there has been only 161,000 tonnes of gold mined, which is barely enough to fill two Olympic size swimming pools....  WHAT?!!! That's all?  In the history of mankind?  Oh man.... And apparently, 50% of that production has been done in the last 40 years...  I would have imagined that the amount of all gold ever produced by mankind would have been much much more than that...  How is that possible?  I'm just trying to think about how much Barrick produces in a year times 25 years that we've been around, plus all the other gold companies, plus the illegal gold mining that accounts for 25% of gold production every year, and you're telling me that for the last thousands of years, we as a human race have only mined enough gold bars to fill up only 2 swimming pools?  Man, that's weird... It starts to make me think that Fort Knox must be really really really small...

 

Last week, our new CEO started... He's 43 years old...  That's right.. 43...  It's amazing how people get to this level and so quickly... It boggles the mind... He was already a vice-president at the age of 30...  Coincidentally, he left EY after articling as a CA, but man, I can't imagine how he left EY and is now the CEO of the largest gold mining company in the world... He was ranked one of the "Top 40 under 40" 5 years ago...  Unreal...  Imagine making $18 million a year...  For the next 10-15 years... Insane...

 

It's amazing how people turn such simple problems or situations into very complicated ones... I've noticed lately that people start talking about their problems (be it work, family, relationships, lifestyle etc.) and they'll tell you that it's very OBVIOUS what the the problem is, how it effects them, and what they should do about it...  But here's the thing... They'll always end the conversation with "yeah.. ummmmm... I dunno".... Oh man!!!  It's so frustrating when you hear something like that!!  I mean to each their own right?  But it's tough to hear someone admit that their situation/dilemma/whateveryoucallit is a simple one with a simple solution but then admit that they're not willing to commit with the simple solution...  What is it that causes this?  Is it emotion?  Is it doubt (likely not since the reason that it's the right solution is usually because other people have agreed with you)?  Here's my $0.02 on this...  Just do it... You can't dwell on these types of things because it'll hinder your ability to make decisions (likely for the rest of your life).... You'll never get anything done and more so, you'll likely prolong the "bad" situation/thing that you're currently suffering from... It's just that simple...  People will always say "Yeah, I know I should be doing...." but they'll never end up doing it...  This is exactly counter-intuitive to game-theory...  It's as if they KNOWINGLY act in ways that are contrary to their well-being and then question why such things happen to them... 

 

I was at the doctor's yesterday and read a hilarious article about some of the most hilarious text messages ever received by women (yes, it was a chick magazine, but there were no other magazines there!!!!)....  And man, some of these are hilarious... Alright, I gotta admit, after reading some of these, I think that guys are such fuckin dumbasses...  It's as if they actually think girls fall for this shit... Worst is when girls actually do fall for this shit and actually respond back to the fucken morons...  Hhahahahaha....  Note, the words below are from the women who actually received the texts (i.e. they are not my words)....

Worst Text: "still awake?"

I think my all-time favorite text (and quite a few of my girlfriends agree) would be any version of the “Still awake?” text, which generally comes from ex-boyfriends or ex-hookups in the wee hours of the morning, probably after you’ve run into each other at a party. It might just be a college thing (oh god, I hope it is) but it’s pretty sad. I’m also fairly well convinced that it may sometimes be a mass text… As in “is ANYONE still awake? Anyone?” (Other variations include: “Asleep?” “U up?” and “Good 2 c u 2nite”) I wish my phone had more memory, so I could keep the best-ofs.

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Worst Text: "want 2 cum over after i drop brats at xwifes?"

First and foremost, let me just tell you that my exbf is a total douchebag and that this text message ACTUALLY happened. haha! Was it supposed to wish me a happy Thanksgiving? I guess we will never know because we are no longer together!

*yo turkeybutt.how was grub? ate lot myself. want 2 cum over after i drop brats at xwifes?

sick…what wasssss i thinking hahahahaha!

 

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Worst Text: "n8te"

Don’t remember the body, but the guy signed his name “n8te”.  Um isn’t the purpose of the 8 to make it so you don’t have to type the “te”?  So now we call him nate with an 8.

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Worst Text: "hittin tht 2nite"

My all-time favorite, from an ex-boyfriend, received at 2:30am, waking me from a dead sleep:

hittin tht 2nite

Succinct but still disturbing.  And no, he did not hit that (me).

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Worst Text: "come over but only if I can bang you from behind"

Needless to say, I did not go over to his house to get so lovingly ‘banged from behind.’”

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Alright, so I'm in the process of doing up my new year resolutions - I'm quite methodical about this (my list has bullets and sub-bullets hhahahah) and I've decided that 2009 is the year to aim for the stars...  As a result, I'm going to incorporate the picture below into my resolutions...  It's the perfect picture to state what life is all about...

 

 

 

See, this philosophy benefits both parties.  From the guy's point of view, he'll be sharper and more hungry to get more in life.  Let's face it, the above plan is expensive - so by having this mentality, you'll go out and seize that promotion by its horns and earn more money to spend it on your her.   Honestly, this is the one big thing that I think some guys are missing in their life - this "just go out and take it" mentality.  You gotta have it.  Otherwise, you'll be stuck in a dead-end job with your crappy 2% COLA raises every year, taking your girlfriend to the same crappy dive restaurant every friday night and figuring out which DVD-set to get for her for your anniversary.  Hey, to each their own right?  But man, it's fuckin depressing to me.

 

That's my $0.02.  But then again, I should be the last person anyone should talk to about this kind of stuff right?  Hhaahhahhahah....

 

1 Facebook. First Friendster ruled. Then

MySpace. Now Facebook. Tomorrow some

other smart upstart will take the lead. Doesn’t

matter if we’re talking about business or your

girlfriend’s past: Don’t be intimidated by a strong

predecessor. Nobody’s unbeatable.

2 Cellphone contracts. There’s

good reason Europeans

have abandoned these vestigial

entanglements. Electronics evolve

faster than a frog at Chernobyl,

and committing 2 years to anything

with a battery is like marrying

a woman who ages twice as

fast as you do.

3Bands with guitars. Just kidding. But Decca

Records execs notoriously turned down

the Beatles because, they claimed, “guitar groups

are on the way out.” Music, like fashion and art,

is cyclical. Chase trends and you’ll always be

following someone else.

4 Gasoline’s dominance. Cheap trips to the

pump are never coming back, but that’s fine:

One day everything will run on hydrogen or ethanol

or flux capacitors, and moving around will be

more environmentally friendly. Never mourn the

erosion of the status quo. There’s always room for

improvement—with everything.

5 Skinny jeans. Denim was made to cover your

legs, not turn them into shrink-wrapped stilts.

Nuff said.

6 Outback’s Bloomin’ Onion. Here’s hoping

common sense (or America’s obesity

epidemic) erases this 1,580-calorie grease sponge

before it inflates everyone who eats it. You’ve opted

for the grilled chicken, right?

7 “Manscaping” and “metrosexual.” Men

care about how they look. And once the

world gets over that shock—the shock!—these

labels will have lost their purpose.

 

 

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Today I realized that there is no size or pricetag to how good you can make a person feel. You say the right thing and actually mean it, and you know they will never forget it. That lasts a lot longer than any physical gift.

The receptionist in my office is not the most desirable girl. I have a feeling that because she is not the most physically attractive person, this has affected the way people treat her and therefor she has a bitterness about her that reflects in her personality every day. She is a bit overweight, nearing 40, single and lives at home in Queens with her mother. There is nothing wrong with any of these things, whatever makes you happy, right? But, you can tell she is not happy. And she goes about her day as if the world owes her something.

Just this morning I went to the company printer and saw that she had printed an application for the television show ‘The Biggest Loser.’ This really made me sad. She is always complaining about her weight, but for some reason it just made my heart ache.

I’m not saying I’m a saint, but I made a point to go by her desk and drop her a compliment. And I meant it. I told her she looked lovely today and you should have seen the way her face lit up. I know that if I make her feel good she will be nice to me in return and be nice to the next person and the next…and keep paying it forward.

1. Staying home alone on a Saturday night. This could mean a beer at the kitchen table, a long, mopey bath, and an early bedtime. Or you could revel in the solitude and freedom. On weekends, everything is more crowded and expensive. Go out on a Tuesday, when the crowds are scarce and the beer is heavily discounted.

2. Having her drive. It establishes your commitment to a relationship based on gender equality. Plus, you pick the music.

3. Black-and-white movies. Dropping an All About Eve reference may elicit blank stares, but knowledge of this genre makes you a person of intrigue. Besides, you'll learn a lot more about moving through the world from Cary Grant than from Spike TV.

4. Superhero cartoons. A solid relationship with nerd culture enables you to connect with nephews and sons. The sad truth is, Pokémon isn't going away.

5. Small dogs. Okay, they're neurotic face lickers with breathing problems. They're also the next-cutest thing to human babies, and merely having one in your proximity makes you look like a caring person. If you can take care of a pug, you can take care of anything.

6. Snuggling. If done properly and consistently, it leads to the Promised Land. Or possibly to more snuggling, but this is a calculated risk.

7. French cheese. Though most of the good stuff smells like Nicolas Sarkozy's private apartment, cheese really is the most incredible food in the world. Start with a ripe Epoisses, and then let your cheesemonger take you deep.

8. Makeover shows. There's nothing like watching perky strangers barge into someone's life, only to find it empty. The shows are formulaic and fake, yes, but you're getting free tips from professionals who would otherwise charge thousands.

9. Tea. We're not talking crappy dorm-room stashes of Lemon Lift and Constant Comment, but the real stuff: first-flush Darjeeling and South African rooibos. Men have been drinking it for thousands of years, it tastes great, and it doesn't crack you out like coffee.

10. Street-cart food. Your odds of a little gastrointestinal distress may increase slightly, but it's immensely satisfying to eat out at a most basic level. You could discover a brand-new taste that will change the way you think about, say, Sri Lanka. At the very least, you'll have a cheap lunch.

 

 

 

 

You know, sometimes, I really do take for granted how lucky I am to have a good relationship with my family...  My parents and I (and the rest of my family for that matter) get along so well and they trust me so much (more than I deserve I think) that I sometimes forget about all of the troubles that other people face...  The thing is that families are complicated... There is so much history and emotion involved that there's bound to be some sort of drama...  I suppose that I've been lucky enough to not to have to encounter some for a while now...

 

Alright, so after coming back from 6 months of not writing down what I'm thinking, bare with me while I try to attempt to get back into the "reflecting mode".  Where do I start?  Well, probably just where I'm at right now....  At home...  With my family...  It's pretty slow... Things seem to go really slow here in Michigan... Especially in contrast to Toronto...  The other night, my parents and I went to the Vietnamese/Chinese grocery store here (which is still a good 15 mins from our house) and it was depressing...  The food wasn't all that fresh and you can tell that it took them a long time to import most of it.... I told my mum that it depressed me and she says she misses the variety in Toronto...  So it got me thinking... I really need to get them the hell out of Michigan... They need to leave this suburban lifestyle and get back to the city... Where there are people... And markets.. And restaurants... And just things to do... I am really worried that they are starting to get really lethargic and develop a sense of cabin-fever by staying here in these small towns...  It worries me quite a bit actually...  That's my next goal.. To get to a place in my life that my parents can retire comfortably and have them enjoy themselves fun...

 

Related to that, I also realized that all of the benefits of living in the suburbs no longer really exists...  The other day, I went to pick up my mum at her work and it took me nearly 40 mins because of the bloody traffic during rush hour... Oh man... How can this be?!!  We're in the middle of nowwheresville and yet I'm stuck in bumper to bumper wanting to kill myself...  Reminds me of the DVP in Toronto!  So really, the only thing that the suburbs has going for them is the cheaper housing (vs. the city)....  Is that really enough?